...or something, 'cause I have been feeling mad crazy awesome for the past two days and it looks like that's going to continue today.
Who knew that daily exercise and eating healthy stuff could make me feel all happy and hyper? Srsly! I did my upper-body workout yesterday (mostly at work), as well as doing my core exercises. Did three sets of push-ups! WOO. I hate push-ups with the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns. Have I mentioned that? Unfortunately, they are a necessary part of my plan to make myself all HAWTNESS by the time May rolls around.
By the way, I am managing to turn into a Bridezilla despite the utter lack of necessity for doing so. I am about to smack myself in the head with something large and heavy to see if that keeps this whole wedding madness shit from eating my brain completely. Exercising seems to distract me from the whole thing very well, so that's a bonus. I should also get back to that whole doing-algebra-every-day thing.
I had more to babble about, but then I saw something shiny and forgot it.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
boingy boingy boingy!
So, yeah, Platypus the Genius managed to forget that today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I got up early so I could call the health insurance place and didn't realize what was going on until I got the automated voice saying "(Office) is closed for the holiday". Of course this did not happen until I'd had about half my first cup of coffee, and so I am now far too hyped up to go back to sleep. Ergo, I harass and befuddle you, O Internetz!
I know you've missed me, right? I've been really locked up in my own head for the past (few) months, which makes it hard to think of anything to babble nonsensically about to the world in general. However, I seem to have managed to wade through whatever mental jello it was slowing me down...now I am back to my old spastic, verbose, easily-entertained self. Woohoo!
Anyway, Big Doings in the World of the Platypus have included setting a date for that whole gettin' married thing (May 19th, if you're curious); listening to Eve 6 and Barenaked Ladies semi-obsessively (not that this is anything new); increasing my daily amount of exercise (because I want to be all sexalicious with my bad self on my weddin' day, natch); and writing stupidly long sentences (yes, I do this in my pen-and-paper journal too). Mr. Platypus had a job interview with Big Important Research Hospital a week ago, and now we're frantically hoping that they'll call him back. (Would have been nice if they'd done so like, four days ago, but so it goes.) That whole Mr.-Platypus's-Job-Search thing is kind of on a mental back burner for me right now, so I think that's all I'll say on that subject.
I just know you're all eagerly awaiting the details on the Wedding Plans of Scary Doom, so I shall fill you in. We are having a very small (one might almost say microscopic) ceremony in a park that has a gazebo. Hopefully, my friend/coworker who happens to be an ordained minister will be able to officiate for us; that will both save me some money and make the ceremony more meaningful. My best friend will be there to take pictures and sign as a witness. That's gonna be it as far as attendees, unless a random raccoon or other small animal happens to be sitting in the gazebo whilst we're exchanging vows. Afterwards, we are going to go out for lunch or for dinner together; I just have to figure out what restaurant we're going to choose. It'll probably be an afternoon ceremony, 'cause none of the four of us are really morning people. As far as dress, rings, and all that sort of thing, I've got that pretty much sorted. I've had the dress for about two years now; it's a lime green cotton halter-top sundress that looks all pretty. (I just have to dye it a slightly darker shade of green so it's not translucent, although people being able to clearly see my undies while I'm getting hitched would be HAWT.) We're going with simple tungsten carbide rings, and I'm not bothering with flowers.
The tl;dr version of that paragraph is that I'm having an itsy-bitsy inexpensive wedding because I am just awesome like that.
Anyway. No especially entertaining client stories, although at one point during the past few months, I did have a client I found very thought-provoking. This teenager came in for a massage, and at first came across as one of those cocky little asshats who needs a big ol' slap with the Reality Stick. During the massage, they started to open up a little bit...turns out that they're getting ready to go off to Florida for college, that they've only been that far from Massachusetts once (when they were three), and that they're going through a really tough time right now. They come from a hyper-religious family, and they're starting to question all the stuff that's been shoved down their throat as fact for the past 18 years...which is a bitch of a position to be in even when you're not about to take that big scary leap of jumping out of the nest.
I remember how alone I felt when I started questioning the faith in which my parents attempted to raise me...that SUCKED. For serious. Fortunately, a lot of my friends were going through the same general sort of stage at the time, so we kind of leaned on one another and found a "life raft" to cling to in the form of paganism. Kind of replacing one drug with another, I suppose. Anyway, it wasn't until maybe three years ago or so that I started becoming disenchanted with that whole "woo, lookit me, I'm a fancy witch!" schtick...and that opened up a whole other can of worms for me. I'd been kind of dancing around the edges of sitting down and trying to logically think out the whole dilemma, but that was the point where I started realizing that it doesn't really make sense for there to be some sort of god figure out there. Long story short, becoming an atheist was definitely a long, drawn-out process for me with a lot of tangents and dead-ends along the way; that made it a lot easier for me to empathize with Kid Who Turned Out Not To Be Arrogant.
I was able to send them out the door with a short list of books to read that I thought might help them realize that there's a world of options out there as far as belief structures go, as well as the reassurance that they aren't alone. I hope it helped. I've had them on my mind a lot lately, just wondering how they're doing and wishing I could somehow do more to be of assistance. I figure that suggesting The God Delusion (Richard Dawkins for the win!), The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark (Carl Sagan), and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (I miss you, Douglas Adams) should hopefully have given the kid a bit more of a "toolbox" with which to tackle the issue, so to speak.
Anyway, now it's breakfast time. To the kitchen!
I know you've missed me, right? I've been really locked up in my own head for the past (few) months, which makes it hard to think of anything to babble nonsensically about to the world in general. However, I seem to have managed to wade through whatever mental jello it was slowing me down...now I am back to my old spastic, verbose, easily-entertained self. Woohoo!
Anyway, Big Doings in the World of the Platypus have included setting a date for that whole gettin' married thing (May 19th, if you're curious); listening to Eve 6 and Barenaked Ladies semi-obsessively (not that this is anything new); increasing my daily amount of exercise (because I want to be all sexalicious with my bad self on my weddin' day, natch); and writing stupidly long sentences (yes, I do this in my pen-and-paper journal too). Mr. Platypus had a job interview with Big Important Research Hospital a week ago, and now we're frantically hoping that they'll call him back. (Would have been nice if they'd done so like, four days ago, but so it goes.) That whole Mr.-Platypus's-Job-Search thing is kind of on a mental back burner for me right now, so I think that's all I'll say on that subject.
I just know you're all eagerly awaiting the details on the Wedding Plans of Scary Doom, so I shall fill you in. We are having a very small (one might almost say microscopic) ceremony in a park that has a gazebo. Hopefully, my friend/coworker who happens to be an ordained minister will be able to officiate for us; that will both save me some money and make the ceremony more meaningful. My best friend will be there to take pictures and sign as a witness. That's gonna be it as far as attendees, unless a random raccoon or other small animal happens to be sitting in the gazebo whilst we're exchanging vows. Afterwards, we are going to go out for lunch or for dinner together; I just have to figure out what restaurant we're going to choose. It'll probably be an afternoon ceremony, 'cause none of the four of us are really morning people. As far as dress, rings, and all that sort of thing, I've got that pretty much sorted. I've had the dress for about two years now; it's a lime green cotton halter-top sundress that looks all pretty. (I just have to dye it a slightly darker shade of green so it's not translucent, although people being able to clearly see my undies while I'm getting hitched would be HAWT.) We're going with simple tungsten carbide rings, and I'm not bothering with flowers.
The tl;dr version of that paragraph is that I'm having an itsy-bitsy inexpensive wedding because I am just awesome like that.
Anyway. No especially entertaining client stories, although at one point during the past few months, I did have a client I found very thought-provoking. This teenager came in for a massage, and at first came across as one of those cocky little asshats who needs a big ol' slap with the Reality Stick. During the massage, they started to open up a little bit...turns out that they're getting ready to go off to Florida for college, that they've only been that far from Massachusetts once (when they were three), and that they're going through a really tough time right now. They come from a hyper-religious family, and they're starting to question all the stuff that's been shoved down their throat as fact for the past 18 years...which is a bitch of a position to be in even when you're not about to take that big scary leap of jumping out of the nest.
I remember how alone I felt when I started questioning the faith in which my parents attempted to raise me...that SUCKED. For serious. Fortunately, a lot of my friends were going through the same general sort of stage at the time, so we kind of leaned on one another and found a "life raft" to cling to in the form of paganism. Kind of replacing one drug with another, I suppose. Anyway, it wasn't until maybe three years ago or so that I started becoming disenchanted with that whole "woo, lookit me, I'm a fancy witch!" schtick...and that opened up a whole other can of worms for me. I'd been kind of dancing around the edges of sitting down and trying to logically think out the whole dilemma, but that was the point where I started realizing that it doesn't really make sense for there to be some sort of god figure out there. Long story short, becoming an atheist was definitely a long, drawn-out process for me with a lot of tangents and dead-ends along the way; that made it a lot easier for me to empathize with Kid Who Turned Out Not To Be Arrogant.
I was able to send them out the door with a short list of books to read that I thought might help them realize that there's a world of options out there as far as belief structures go, as well as the reassurance that they aren't alone. I hope it helped. I've had them on my mind a lot lately, just wondering how they're doing and wishing I could somehow do more to be of assistance. I figure that suggesting The God Delusion (Richard Dawkins for the win!), The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark (Carl Sagan), and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (I miss you, Douglas Adams) should hopefully have given the kid a bit more of a "toolbox" with which to tackle the issue, so to speak.
Anyway, now it's breakfast time. To the kitchen!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
blurgh
So I totally had this brilliant post all figured out while I was at work, and then I got home and had food and now my brainmeatz are teh dead.
Stupid brain.
Anyway...
Stupid brain.
Anyway...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
nom nom nom pie
So, knitting group was fun. I was totally the only person wearing a Ridiculous Hat, but that's okay. I fully expect that the trend will take off like gangbusters in a matter of weeks.
Additionally, the sweet potato pie I made was a big hit. I am the Queen of Pie the past couple days...sheperds' pie, then apple pie, then sweet 'tato. Next thing I know, I'm gonna morph into Martha Stewart or some crap.
Okay, yeah, probably not so much. I haven't got the faintest idea about interior decorating.
Off to go watch another Desperate Housewives episode while I knit.
Additionally, the sweet potato pie I made was a big hit. I am the Queen of Pie the past couple days...sheperds' pie, then apple pie, then sweet 'tato. Next thing I know, I'm gonna morph into Martha Stewart or some crap.
Okay, yeah, probably not so much. I haven't got the faintest idea about interior decorating.
Off to go watch another Desperate Housewives episode while I knit.
Thursday Is Ridiculous Hat Day.
Yes, it is official.
Thursdays are now the Platypus-Appointed Day For The Wearing Of Ridiculous Hats.
I will be doing my bit by wearing my top hat to Knitting Group tonight.
Hilarity will no doubt abound. I shall update you on this later tonight when I get home.
Thursdays are now the Platypus-Appointed Day For The Wearing Of Ridiculous Hats.
I will be doing my bit by wearing my top hat to Knitting Group tonight.
Hilarity will no doubt abound. I shall update you on this later tonight when I get home.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
SHE LIVES.
Holy crapmonkeys, it's been a month since I posted anything? Guh. I so massively fail at life for my shameful neglect of you, O INTERNETZ THAT I ADORE SO MUCH.
Let's see, what amazingly entertaining shenanigans have been going on in the Life of the Platypus lately? Um...oh em gee, this totally calls for bullet points!
For the record, you guys should totally go watch Mega-Shark vs. Giant Octopus. Debbie Gibson trying to pretend to be a marine biologist? HILARITY ENSUES.
I am way too fond of my caps lock key.
Let's see, what amazingly entertaining shenanigans have been going on in the Life of the Platypus lately? Um...oh em gee, this totally calls for bullet points!
- I have been been on a knitting bender LIKE WHOA. I thought it would be a Super Cool Awesomely Brilliant idea to try to knit giftymas presents for the in-laws (because there's only four of them; there's eleventy-kazillion people in my family so knitting presents for all of them is right out), but I now realize that this is about as likely as me suddenly becoming President of the World and having a movie deal in the works where Mr. Platypus is played by Johnny Depp or Nathan Fillion and hel-LO, would that not be AWESOME? You need to get right on that, Hollywood! Oh, wait, where was I going with this? Uh...
- I had two interviews for a sooper-dooper new job at a Mad Crazy Fancy Spa. I did not get hired at said Mad Crazy Fancy Spa. Strangely, this bothers me not at all. I think I would implode from sheer boredom if I had to do nothing but relaxation-oriented massage all day. I like fixin' busted muscles, yo. It's my thing; it's what I do.
- I have gotten exactly nothing accomplished towards the whole Going Back To School endeavor. I did, however, begin considering whether I wanna just lose my mind and double-major in Biology and Human Health/Rehab for the bachelor's degree bit of it. Ponder, ponder, ponder.
- I now weigh the same as I did in high school! NONE OF MY PANTS FIT AND THIS IS AWESOME. No, for serious. I adore the fact that all of my pants are baggy as hell and I'm no longer Rocking The Sexy in them. Because honestly, I'm all slender and sexalicious with my bad self. Oh, Reverse Crunch Extensions. You and I are bee-eff-effs FOR LIFE. Okay, I'm done gloating. For now.
No, come to think of it, I'm probably not done. - I managed not to beat Crazy Mommy-Dearest-In-Law over the head with a pepper grinder during Thanksgiving dinner! Probably because we had dinner in a restaurant, and I didn't want to Cause A Scene, but yanno, whatevs. Point remains that I didn't maim her (despite ample provocation, let me tell you. That woman, she is the crazy.).
For the record, you guys should totally go watch Mega-Shark vs. Giant Octopus. Debbie Gibson trying to pretend to be a marine biologist? HILARITY ENSUES.
I am way too fond of my caps lock key.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Hmm.
I suppose that I should not be so irritated about the dreadful tips yesterday...after all, we wound up fully booked, and I do get paid per massage I perform. Still, yesterday was pretty seriously sucktastic.
Y'see, the Big Boss in their infinite wisdom decided that they were going to send out an email coupon telling folks that they could get their 55-minute massage for some ridiculously low price (I believe it was fifty bucks) and their 80-minute massage for some other ridiculously low price (I think it was eighty bucks) on Oct 31. and Nov. 1 only. Naturally, the clients took advantage of this; who wouldn't? I therefore wound up with five 55-minute sessions yesterday.
Ordinarily, I would have been pretty darn thrilled about that. After all, staying busy makes time seem to pass faster, and I do like the chance to make several good tips. I was not very thrilled, though, when all but one client tipped fifteen percent based on the discounted price rather than the regular price. (One client tipped me five dollars. I felt insulted, because I'd really tried to deliver the best massage that I could. It felt like they were telling me that my time and skills are neither important nor valued. Sigh.)
I realize that I'm being a whiny little twerp right now. I realize that people don't necessarily think about tipping us therapists (despite the friendly little "for your convenience, here is a chart listing 15% of the massage price, 20% of the massage price, etc" signs in every massage room and at the front desk. Oh, and the discreet little tip envelopes.). I just feel like four out of my five clients yesterday were trying to tell me that they think that my skills and training are a joke.
One of the ten-dollar tippers is a regular client who comes in for a massage with their significant other about once a month, and always tips ten bucks. This is after their significant other spends the entire massage being a demanding, whiny pain in the posterior and snarking at me "is Client asleep? They better not be asleep. Are you doing Swedish massage? They like Swedish massage. Don't go too deep with the pressure." while simultaneously yammering at their therapist about how they are such a Special Snowflake who deserves Top-Drawer Treatment. Client, for some reason known only to them, never tells Significant Other to shush. It drives me absolutely bugpoop crazy, so much so that I was in tears last night after they left. Today, I shall talk to my boss about whether I would be permitted to "fire" this client from booking appointments with me. It's unprofessional of me, but my annoyance at Significant Other's shenanigans and Client's inability to understand that tipping is important has affected my ability to give Client a good massage. I don't want Client to pay for a massage that isn't excellent quality, because I'm sure they work hard for their money, and I'd hate to see them waste it.
Anyway. Yeah. Yesterday sucked. I have no clients booked today, and I'm working an eight hour shift. If nothing else, I will be able to study some algebra, do some crocheting, and ponder the mysteries of the universe. Whee!
Y'see, the Big Boss in their infinite wisdom decided that they were going to send out an email coupon telling folks that they could get their 55-minute massage for some ridiculously low price (I believe it was fifty bucks) and their 80-minute massage for some other ridiculously low price (I think it was eighty bucks) on Oct 31. and Nov. 1 only. Naturally, the clients took advantage of this; who wouldn't? I therefore wound up with five 55-minute sessions yesterday.
Ordinarily, I would have been pretty darn thrilled about that. After all, staying busy makes time seem to pass faster, and I do like the chance to make several good tips. I was not very thrilled, though, when all but one client tipped fifteen percent based on the discounted price rather than the regular price. (One client tipped me five dollars. I felt insulted, because I'd really tried to deliver the best massage that I could. It felt like they were telling me that my time and skills are neither important nor valued. Sigh.)
I realize that I'm being a whiny little twerp right now. I realize that people don't necessarily think about tipping us therapists (despite the friendly little "for your convenience, here is a chart listing 15% of the massage price, 20% of the massage price, etc" signs in every massage room and at the front desk. Oh, and the discreet little tip envelopes.). I just feel like four out of my five clients yesterday were trying to tell me that they think that my skills and training are a joke.
One of the ten-dollar tippers is a regular client who comes in for a massage with their significant other about once a month, and always tips ten bucks. This is after their significant other spends the entire massage being a demanding, whiny pain in the posterior and snarking at me "is Client asleep? They better not be asleep. Are you doing Swedish massage? They like Swedish massage. Don't go too deep with the pressure." while simultaneously yammering at their therapist about how they are such a Special Snowflake who deserves Top-Drawer Treatment. Client, for some reason known only to them, never tells Significant Other to shush. It drives me absolutely bugpoop crazy, so much so that I was in tears last night after they left. Today, I shall talk to my boss about whether I would be permitted to "fire" this client from booking appointments with me. It's unprofessional of me, but my annoyance at Significant Other's shenanigans and Client's inability to understand that tipping is important has affected my ability to give Client a good massage. I don't want Client to pay for a massage that isn't excellent quality, because I'm sure they work hard for their money, and I'd hate to see them waste it.
Anyway. Yeah. Yesterday sucked. I have no clients booked today, and I'm working an eight hour shift. If nothing else, I will be able to study some algebra, do some crocheting, and ponder the mysteries of the universe. Whee!
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