holy froombonglies

I am going to start off by apologizing for my shameful neglect of you, Gentle Reader, over the last few weeks days. Rest assured that you haven't missed out on any especially entertaining shenanigans, unless you really want to hear about horrible cramps of abdomen-shattering death.

You don't? Good.

So, anyway, the Flubbulous Platypus is down to 143 pounds! Hooray and rejoicing! Okay, last night the scale said 146, this morning it said 143 again...what is up with that nonsense? Water weight? Was I exercising in my sleep? Have I stumbled upon a brilliant way to lose weight while snoozing my happy little head off?! (insert hopeful face here)

Somehow, I think Mr. Platypus is correct when he says it has to do with water weight. (Although I hadn't gone to the bathroom in between weigh-ins, so who knows.) Whatever the explanation, the nice low number on the scale this morning kind of mitigates the silly drama of the past two days.

See, I turn into (more of) a complete and utter psycho when Mother Nature brings the monthly horrendous torture gift (oh, how I HATE those commercials!). This usually entails moodiness, crying jags, et cetera and so forth. Apparently, this time around came with the bonus prize of panic attacks. Whoopee! I am so thrilled that I can hardly stand it! I got the joy of spending most of the past two evenings/nights crying my head off and feeling like I was about to implode and explode all at once. Such wonderful fun we are having here, I tell you!

Le sigh. This too shall pass.

Anyway, you need to go to your local library and pick up a copy of Robert Heinlein's The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress right this very minute. For serious. I'll wait.

Are you back now? Good! Because this book? This book is made of 100% professional-grade awesome. Admittedly, I am a) halfway through it, and b) a diehard Heinlein fan. Still and all, it's a good read. Mike, the self-aware computer, is simultaneously hilariously funny and enormously thought-provoking. (Also, he totally makes me wish that my computer could talk and be my friend, because then we would have awesome adventures together. Oh, and we could totally annoy Mr. Platypus by having contests to see who could sing the most annoying song. That would be epic.) (Except that my computer would probably be a crotchety old jerk. Hee hee, I said "crotch". Ahem.) I don't ordinarily go for political novels, but Heinlein showed a very deft hand for making a point without belaboring it.

At any rate, that's going to about do it for my useless yammering until I get back from work. I require another cup of coffee. Vaya con quesadillas!

Today's lecture is about cheez whiz.

Okay, so it isn't really. I'm just inordinately amused by the phrase "cheez whiz" (in case you're curious, I also find the word "asphalt" to be hysterically funny). Today, the Platypus is going to wibble at you, Gentle Reader, about this diet-and-exercise thing she's trying out.

Y'see, your favorite Platypus is approximately forty pounds heavier than she'd like to be, probably due to all the cheese and foods involving cheese she's eaten over the past six years or so. I'm only an overachiever on some things, and gaining the dreaded Freshman Fifteen was one of them. 'Course, when you live in a college town where the only two pasttimes are a) drinking copious amounts of my beloved booze and b) watching football (I was not so into the football), it's kind of inevitable. Before moving to College Town, I had never had any issues with my weight...I was still in that phase of life wherein I could eat pretty much whatever I damn well pleased and not gain a pound. Ah, the good ol' days...

Anyway, so that was then and this is now and here I am at approximately 175 lbs. on an approximately 5'5" frame. (Yeah, I still haven't bought a scale, and I haven't actually gotten my height accurately measured in...um...awhile.) Having gotten tired of having a Jello Belly, I have finally decided to listen to Mr. Platypus's wise advice and start monitoring my caloric intake as well as increasing the amount of exercise I get.

Oh, and did I mention that I hate exercising? Yeah. Hate, hate, hate, HATE it. I hate it with the burning passion of a thousand firey suns, but I'm doing it anyway. Granted, I'm hardly doing any sort of really intensive workout, but I am doing at least two sets of crunches and leg lifts daily. So, yeah, go me.

Oddly enough, it's possible to eat tasty tasty things and still not be getting a kajillion calories. For example, I had baked squash with black beans and a little bit of cheese for dinner tonight...that was 478 calories for two big bowlsful of the stuff. My big cup of almond-flavored coffee this morning only had 114 calories, and it was super-tasty. The hummus, celery, yogurt, and low-fat string cheese I snacked on at work all day wound up being like 350 calories.

I'm shocked that I'm actually admitting this, but I'm not terribly bothered by the fact that I've basically been eating vegetarian for like a week now. I'm the one who once swore up and down that she would implode if she didn't get some kind of dead animal to nom on at least once a day. Thus far, implosion seems somewhat less than imminent.

I'd tell you an interesting story about my day, but today was not very interesting. I had exactly one client. I did trade massages with a co-worker, though, and that was very nice. I also went out into the parking lot behind the office and managed to jump rope without killing myself too badly (I made it up to the 86th jump before tripping, even!). Those were pretty much the highlights of my day.

So, Gentle Reader, any tasty and delicious low-calorie recipes you'd like to share with me?